The Night Santa Went Crazy
by Wait.What
Summary: A summary implies a plot, in which there is none. A crackish Christmas fic in which Chase has to wear lots of winter clothing due to Loa Ming Soup, Singing JackBots, and Jack beating the Xiaolin Monks in a very odd way. Oneshot.


_**The Night Santa Went Crazy**_

_Don't ask...just don't..._

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own niether the song nor the show.

It was December in China. There was snow everywhere. Snow was still falling from the sky.

The Xioalin Monks had not seen sight of Chase Young for a while, and Kimiko had said that since it was getting cold out that he most likely was staying inside since reptiles are cold blooded.

The odd thing was, they hadn't seen Jack, either. But now as Dojo muttered angrily about Shen Gon Wu activating in Winter, they flew to Russia in a mountain range.

And there they were. Tons of JackBots, coplete with green and red paint jobs and Christmas hats. You know the kind. Dojo prepared for landing as the Xiaolin Monks jumped off Dojo and took out a few JackBots. But the odd thing was, they didn't attack back.

Then Jack flew from the sky on his HeliPack, grinning. The Xiaolin Monks were confused. Why were the JackBots not attacking? Why was Jack smiling? Why were the JackBots all Christmas-y?

Jack's grew, and he pointed at the Xiaolin Monks.

"JackBots, sing!" The Xiaolin Monks blinked. Sing? And then, the horror began, as the tune began.

"Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys  
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys  
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death  
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath  
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo  
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo  
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye  
'Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!'" 

The Xiaolin Monks blinked at the odity of the song, but the horror wasn't over yet, as some of Jack's robots appeared, looking like Santa and his reindeer.

"The night Santa went crazy  
The night Saint Nick went insane  
Realized he'd been getting the raw deal  
Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain"

The SantaBots started to attack, while Jack snuck off to find and steal the Wu.

"Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it  
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet  
And he tied up his helpers, and he held the elves hostage  
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage  
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger  
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger  
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen  
And he took a big bite and said 'It tastes just like chicken!'" 

And so now the Xiaolin Monks not only had to deal with the horrors of the Anti-seasonal singing, now they had to deal with a evil Santa. But hey, Evil is good. Or was that Crazy is good?

"The night Santa went crazy  
The night Kris Kringle went nuts  
Now, you can't hardly walk around the North Pole  
Without steppin' in reindeer guts" 

The reindeer blew up occassionally, damaging the Monks.

"There's the National Guard and the FBI  
There's a man from the Eyewitness News  
In a helicopter circlin' 'round in the sky  
And the bullets are flying the body count's rising  
And everyone's dying to know -'Oh Santa, why?'  
My, my, my, my, my, my - used to be such a jolly guy."

The Evil!Santa had a Flamethrower, and he bbq-ed Blitzen, who then attacked the Monks with his fire-y anti-holiday spirit.

"But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous  
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service  
And they say Mrs. Claus she's on the phone every night  
With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights." 

Then a whole bunch of LawyerBots appeared, holding assault charges against the Monks. They were dresses in candy cane colored suits.

"The night Santa went crazy  
The night Saint Nicholas flipped  
Broke his back for some milk and cookies  
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped" 

And by now, Jack was getting away, having easily claimed the "Insert Name of Kick Ass All Powerful Shen Gon Wu Here".

"Wo, The night Santa went crazy  
The night Saint Nick went insane  
Realized he'd been gettin' the raw deal  
Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain  
Wo, Somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain  
Tell ya, somethin' finally must've snapped in his brain." 

On a hill somewhere, was Chase Young, who was dressed in uber heavy winter clothing so he didn't freeze to death. He was currently in disbelief at Jack's interesting way of defeating the Monks. And then that second passed, and so he waddled home like a penguin, since the "Insert Name of Kick Ass All Powerful Shen Gon Wu Here" was gone.

_Yeah...I was sugar high, and I wanted to do a Christmas fic, and I just so happened to be listening to The Night Santa Went Crazy. Umm...Drop a review._


End file.
